no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
