It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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