I hate your face
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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