I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
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Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
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My vagina just clenched in fear
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize