Define "chronic" masturbator.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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