He is an equal opportunity slut.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
