She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize