Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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