Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize