you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
