My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
We left the knife in your bed.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
