Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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