I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
