Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
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Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
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Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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