Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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