My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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