if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Randomize
