I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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