Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
