Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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