I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
