i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
