boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
