remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
