imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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