Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
