weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Green mimosas i think yes
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
