You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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