Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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