like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
