The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
