How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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