My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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