Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
you will always have a special place in my vag
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
