I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
