ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
