I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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