he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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