Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
