he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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