We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
