he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
