No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
