like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
