your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
