So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
