we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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