i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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