You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize