my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Help. Why am I so naked?
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