I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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