No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
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I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
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I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?