Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.