3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that