I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.