Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
no you cant smoke seaweed
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
