I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
