He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
