Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
