Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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