Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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