One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
