dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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