If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
